When Jesus says “Follow Me”

You know how you read about Jesus walking around in the New Testament saying “Follow me” and He expected the people He asked to do just that, like right then and there? It’s a common Jesus encounter in the stories in the gospels, but when it happens in your life what do you do?

Quick flash back to before I went on my World Race in 2018, I read a book called Experiencing God by Henry T. Blackaby. The book talks about knowing God through experiencing God, which prompted me to start reading scripture with the question “Have I experienced God in this way?” In reading my Bible more like an invitation to personally experience the fullness of God it became challenging when I read parts where Jesus said things like “Pick up your cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24), “Go and sell all of your possessions and follow me.” (Matthew 19:21), and all of the other times Jesus in essence said “Give up everything and follow me!”  When I reflected on my life and asked myself if I had truly experienced this radical calling from God I realized that I had more to learn about following Jesus. If I truly wanted to experience him I needed to work on removing things that kept me from dropping everything to follow Jesus. A conviction to get rid of physical things in my life that made it hard to obey or follow God was the first step in starting to abandon things of this world for more of Jesus. I remember getting rid of car loads of my belongings (as well as eventually my car) in preparation for the WR because it made it easier to not worry about belongings at home while I was away. I also prayed a lot about surrendering friends and family, eventually choosing twice to stay on the mission field even after I had two loved ones pass away back home (which were very painful decisions to make.) I learned on a deeper level intimacy with the Lord and got to see in many ways the depth of his love and faithfulness through this lifestyle of abandonment of the world. I have continuously tried to keep this posture so that any time God says “Hey, follow me!”  I follow Him in a heartbeat. Whether it’s a small calling to go talk to someone across a coffee shop or a bigger calling to literally drop everything and go wherever He would have me go, I want to follow Jesus and experience every beautiful part of who He is and what He is doing. I don’t ever want to walk away from an opportunity to experience God in a deeper way.

This brings us to my present circumstances: alumni squad leading for the World Race. For the past year I have been seeking for an opportunity to go back on the mission field to continue this spirit of abandonment and following Jesus. Several offers had come up, but none were the right ones when I asked God. Instead, He placed me in a season where I began to learn how to anchor myself, which is interesting because it seems like anchoring and abandonment would be two polar opposite things, right? Well, I’m still learning what the relationship between the two looks like; but I do know that God has taught me the importance of building community and intimacy with others and Himself, while also being ready and trusting to do what He is asking me to do. I have a heart for missions AND for home. As I’ve wrestled with God to figure out how those two can coexist, He brought this opportunity to me.

In short summary, I was minding my own business, working towards long-term goals, investing deeper into long-term community, and building up my life in the ways I felt God shepherding me to do so when I was approached about dropping everything in less than a month to go back on the WR to squad lead for 5 months on the field. When the idea was first brought to me I said I would pray about it, and though it was exciting, I thought that it was another offer I clearly would have to turn down because I was learning to wait and build. I prayed about the things that the Lord had established in my life over the past year and felt like leaving in the middle of what He was asking me to invest in would be bad stewardship, not faithful abandonment. Although I didn’t see it working out,  I still prayed and wrote down conditions for what it would look like to be a good steward of what God has given to me while also following Him obediently. My conditions were: I would need to be able to maintain financial responsibility for all of my monthly bills, I would have to have favor with my community about going, and I would have to be able to steward well everything God had given me in the last year. With these conditions, I felt like I could balance abandonment and anchoring (i.e. trust God to provide what was needed for the future, but not forsaking/devaluing the past and present.)

After receiving some counsel from a few different people and wrestling with God over the matter, I finally decided that this opportunity was actually one that God was opening the door for and would bless. I realized that over the past year, as I had been obedient in following God in small ways with how I stewarded my time, my finances, my community, and my relationship with Him that a lot of my anchoring from this past year was God preparing the way for freedom in abandonment. In establishing a home and financial stability I have the ability to leave for 5 months while still covering my bills and returning to my own place of belonging. In creating and investing into a loving and supportive community I now have beautifully diverse groups of people to pray with me, share in the adventure, and send me off with great praise to God for what He is doing. Learning to plant long-term seeds has led to God’s perfect timing and joining into this squad’s mission. I am leaving home again, but this time it’s not with the abandonment I originally understood that made me see everything as already gone. This time I leave home carrying in my heart the treasures God has given me and walking open handed with the things that aren’t mine to keep but blessings for the time. I am very excited for the opportunity to lead a group of fired-up Christians who want to experience our incredibly good God on a deeper level like I do. I have two weeks left at home before I leave for this new journey. KSquad has already shown themselves to be a group of believers that walk in great passion for the Kingdom and adoration for the King. I am excited to learn from them, partner with them, and serve them during their 11 months on the field. 

When Jesus says “Follow me” it’s rarely at a time we would expect it to come, and the sacrifices it takes to follow are always ones that pull at the right heart strings. My encouragement to any believer who hears Jesus’ invitation to follow would be that every time I have chosen to seek God above all else it has been worth it. I’ve experienced a God who is abounding in love, unbelievably kind and compassionate, full of mercy and grace, and the most interesting being I have ever known. He has also invited me into things that I could never do without Him (*cough, cough* like leaving home on short notice to lead a group of adults for 5 months on the mission field.) If you’re going to follow Jesus, then be ready to follow Jesus!